The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize