i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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