He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
