i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Every concussion has its silver lining
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
