yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
