Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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