Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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