go do what you do best...puke behind churches
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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