I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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