There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
