I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm like, not good at living.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
