love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Little spoons don't ask big questions
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
