whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
