I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just gift wrapped bread.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
