Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
