oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
