these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The power of my boobs compel you
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
