i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
