i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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