Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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