My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
