dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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