waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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