I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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