I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
