If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
