I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
