I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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