it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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