I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
