just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
