ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My life is pants optional.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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