what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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