Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
