I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
