Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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