I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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