Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
