i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
