But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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