Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize