so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
