problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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