The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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