the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
