Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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