Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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