The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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