white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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