Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
