I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
