Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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