So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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