Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
pray to the hookup gods
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
