It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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