I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
