I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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