Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
