i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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