You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i think my cat just said my name.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
