I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
