Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
