i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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